Pet Peeves at the Gym

I entered a gym for the first time 10 years ago when I was a sophomore in college.  Although I did not realize it at the time, this was an ideal way to initiate myself into the world of The Gym.  My college gym was basically a frat party without the alcohol and instead of pool tables and couches, there were workout machines and weights. It was a see and been seen kind of scene.  Most sorority girls "worked out" complete with FULL faces of makeup, perfectly curled bouncy ponytails,  perfume and matching spandex shorts and sports bras.  Frat guys went to the gym to watch stare at the sorority girls.  If I could survive in there, I could survive in any gym. 

I now have grown to love and look forward to my workouts at my local gym.  I love that the gym makes me happy.  I love that I feel invisible when I have my iPod earbuds in.  I love that that I now have a continual desire to learn more about my body and how it works.  I love that when I log all those gym hours, I do not want to be eating anything unhealthy. 

And now that I have listed the things I love about the gym, I would like to express some of the dislikes:

My pet peeves at the gym:

• Trainers who feel it necessary to jog everywhere throughout the gym to maximize their calorie burn.
• When the man on the cardio machine next to me has clearly forgotten to wash his gym clothes for a week and also forgot to use his deodorant that day. 
• Anytime someone offers unsolicited advice on how I am working out wrong.
• Broken drinking fountains.
• Broken equipment that stays broken for weeks. I pay dues. Get the shit working.
• Trainers who are not able to add my body fat percentage and instead ask for me to confirm if that sounds right?
• People Guys who drop their weights at least 2 feet from the ground when they are done with sets just to make sure everyone around them knows just how hard that last rep was.
• People Guys who grunt so loudly that it sounds like an f-ing hippo is loose in the gym just to make sure everyone around them knows just how hard that set was.
• When the person using the cardio machine next to me is talking on their cell phone.*
• Men in spandex.
• Group instructors who sing into the microphone. Pure ear torture.
• When the microphone system in my Lift class cuts in and out and the instructor is then forced to yell when it cuts out and it cuts back in right when they are screaming.
• Cardio Bouncers. (folks who bounce so excessively on their elliptical GLIDER machines that they make me sea sick when they're in my line of vision. You can tell that they think they are really challenging themselves. Quit with the bouncing. The less you bounce, the harder the workout.)
• Bad form. Not only hard to watch but also potentially dangerous/injurious.
• Step Mill Leaners. If you are not able to stand upright and climb, slow down the machine. Otherwise you are just dangling there and moving your legs a little.

* If you are able to carry on a full on conversation while on a cardio machine, you are not getting your heartrate up anywhere near high enough to be effective. Funny how the person talking always seems to be someone who needs that extra workout or 14.