I have some pretty strong thoughts on this subject based on unfortunate past experiences as well as some new emotional developments. Now before you get any crazy ideas, let me reassure you that I am NOT about to be moving in with anyone, man or woman. Here's why...
....that whole “We’re going to see if we’re compatible!” excuse? What a superficial thing to say. There are no guarantees when it comes to the institution of marriage, no beta-test, no half-measures. Marriage is another word for trust. It is full of doubts and shortcomings; it's two people holding hands and jumping together. It’s a risk, and has the potential to fail, and that makes it beautiful. If I love a man enough to marry him, compatibility is moot. I love him unconditionally, and flaws are an expected part of that equation. In my mind, waiting to move in together until there is a marriage commitment on the table means there is no "maybe we'll work it out", but rather "we WILL work this out and we WILL get through it".
....marriage is a big deal to me and I want it to feel like a big deal. Cohabitating while in the shuffle of wedding planning, and then it's The Big Day, then you're honeymooning and then poof!-- back to reality, but oh wait it's the same as before other than we now have rings on our fingers...that doesn't sound very special to me. Marriage is the hinge to the rest of my life and I want it to feel special and new and different.
....there will be many many perks that come along with cohabitating and honestly I am not ready to give all those things to a man unless he is ready to be with me forever. These things include (but would not be limited to): the house being cleaner and generally smelling better (I'd imagine somewhat like unicorn farts), pretty living flowers in the garden and even in the house sometimes, fresh fruit in the fridge, healthier more complete meals (that include that foreign food group also known as vegetables), having clean underwear and socks at his disposal, and let's not forget having my nice warm body to kiss him goodnight every night and cuddle with every morning. That all to me sounds like a pretty good deal and one that should be reserved solely for my husband.
....break ups suck. No matter how they happen, they are terribly painful and emotionally draining. A break-up coupled with a move out (and loss of a roommate) is even worse. Whoever is left living in the place that was once jointly "yours" has a painful daily reminder of what once was. Not something I ever want to go through again nor put anyone else through.
....don't do it just for financial reasons. That should be the last reason you move in together. Of course it is a perk, however I want to move in with someone because I am starting the rest of my life with him and not to save money on my bills.
....finally, I love living alone and it's going to take a pretty amazing offer on the table to convince me that I am ready to give that up. Like a proposal...
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