2010: A Year In Reflection

As tradition has it, New Years is a time of making resolutions for the coming year.  I think that before we can make plans for the future, it is important to look back at our successes and challenges from the previous year.  Having an clear understanding of where we have been often gives us a much clearer picture of where we are going. 

So without further adieu...

In 2010:

1. What did I learn? 

In my past I've tended to pay so much attention to what other people think of me and to their opinions of what is going on in my life that I sometime lose myself.  I really feel like I am finally learning to listen to myself first.  My own opinion is now the one that matters most to me. 

2. What did I accomplish? 

I accepted an internship offer with a great school district and was able to get a great part time job in a horrible economy.

3. What would I have done differently? Why?

I would have finished all of my Deloitte work and my research project for my Master's Program about 6 months ago!  I also wish I would've saved more money when I was actually making money so I would not have to be working part time now.

4. What were the most significant events of the year past? List the top three.

Getting my internship, my relationship with Brent, and my family offering to help me financially.

5. What do I feel especially good about? 
I am proud that I have been working my ass off at my 2 jobs and that I was easily able to transition from a job where I was twiddling my thumbs all the time to 2 jobs where I never stop moving.  I finally feel useful and accomplished at work again.  Yes, even at Borders!

Every year I feel more confident in who I am and I have accepted that I will never have a Victoria Secret model body, I will never have naturally blond hair, and that its ok that I have not gotten married or had children yet.  This year especially I felt myself rise into a comfortable place of self acceptance and love.  I have accepted my own apology for life not going exactly as I had it mapped out.  And you know what? My life is pretty fabulous regardless of prior plans.

6. What were the fun things I did?

Turning 30 was fun.  I was happy to say goodbye to my 20s.  I had a fantastic time on my trip to Maui and all of our trips to Tahoe. 

7. What were my biggest challenges?
Living on a tight budget after living the easy life for a few years has been a challenge.  The break up with Brent was devastating and temporarily debilitating.  I was a wreak for over a month.  But I was glad that I stuck to my guns.  I knew that our relationship as it had been was broken and would never survive on the course it was on.  Also, it has not been fun working so many hours at 2 jobs that are both exhausting.  But, repeat after me  ~it will all be worth it in the end~

8. How am I different this year than last?
I am much more sure of who I am, what I like, what I do not like, what I stand for and what is important to me.  I have realized it is better to be single than to be in a relationship where any of those things are compromised.  I have also made the choice to let some of my toxic relationships go, as they were only bringing me down and causing me pain.  Quality over quantity is a new concept to me when it comes to friendships.

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
My dearest girlfriends, who are like my family.  They are the strongest women I know and they inspire me in so many ways. Jenny, Laura, Jodi, Brooke, Beth, Becca, Kim, Traci and Mary - my favs!!

Also my Grandma.  I have a very special relationship with her and I an constantly inspired by her wit, wisdom and women-pride!


And last but not least, Brent.  He has been amazingly supportive and caring since I began this roller-coaster of interning and book-selling and I cannot thank him enough for that. 

10. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
Easy. The Fucking Facebook.  

11. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
Being alone in this apartment as a 30 year old and being 100% ok with it.  

12. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2010 for you.
I am going to use a quote I just heard for the first time and instantly loved:

Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got. 

~Janis Joplin

The power of love

Anyone recognize whose lap I am sitting on in this pic?

If you guessed Huey Lewis, you are right! 

After the signing, his drummer Bill (the other old guy sitting at the table) hit on me: "You're gorgeous, how do you feel about older men?"

Ah, the perks of working at Borders.

It's Serious Time

Brent and I have agreed to have some serious conversations this weekend.  I found an article in my latest Glamour magazine with important topics for couples to discuss to answer the question...

ARE YOU READY TO GET MARRIED?

Here are the questions:

1. How important to you is spending time with family?
2. Money is best used for _________________________.
3. What's our financial goal for the next 3 years? Five?
4. Who should handle the finances?
5. Do we have a budget that will help us achieve our financial plans?
6. Do we know how much we owe and to whom?

The rest are agree/disagree statements:

1. I am comfortable discussing our financial affairs with my partner.
2. I can live within my income.
3. We have discussed whether we will have separate bank accounts.
4. I am feeling some pressure to get married.
5. We have discussed our feelings about having children, and about how to plan our family.
6. Sex is extremely important to me.
7. Sex is necessary for happiness.
8. Sex is a good sign of a couple's love.
9. I am afraid of being sexually unsatisfying to my future spouse.
10. I am satisfied with the amount of romance in our relationship.
11. I will feel comfortable letting my spouse know that I am in the mood for lovemaking.
12. I have the right to say no to having sex.
13. I will feel comfortable initiating lovemaking.
14. Our sex life will cool off as we grow older.

It will be interesting to see how these conversations go.  I agree that these are some valuable (albeit potentially challenging) topics to discuss.  I have my own guesses as to what Brent's answers will be, but maybe he will surprise me.  He's been know to in the past.

Thank you Jiminy Cricket

If one chooses to consume Weight Watchers Smart Ones microwaveable meals,

 

not only are they assured to be 2 servings of warm, satisfying, delicious and "fork-free" food, you get a guilty conscious reminder right in the instructions just in case your conscious is not always your food guide. 

Wise tip for the Budget Conscious

When shopping at the money pit of all money pits (aka Target*) NEVER make the mistake of allowing yourself to stroll the aisles with the aid of an entire shopping cart.  Instead, take only a shopping basket.  If you are feeling exceptionally frugal and graceful that day, challenge yourself to use nothing but your own 2 hands.  Instant guaranteed savings of at least $20. Enjoy.



*Damn you Target and your $5 DVDs and your fantastic smelling candles and your holiday section and your incessant sale prices on all semi-necessary necessities. 

Idealism at it's finest

As the holidays are approaching, I have been thinking alot about traditions.  This is a word that brings up many strong emotions for me... my family used to have many traditions and I found great comfort and enjoyment in them and their predictability.  Unfortunately my family has virtually no traditions anymore.  Through the years I have conceptualized hypothetical traditions that I hope to do with my own family once I have my own family.  I want my children to have stable and predictable yearly events that they can expect and look forward to with anticipation.  A few of the ideas I have:

Seasonal decorations -- decorating the house for upcoming seasons or holidays.  This would include (but not limited to: Christmas Tree and other Christmas decor, Valentines Day, Easter, Summer, 4th of July, Halloween and Thanksgiving and fall in general.  I do not picture lots of cheap gaudy items.  One nice thing can be enough.  Such as a heart shaped bowl of red and pink candy or flowers for Valentines Day on the coffee table or kitchen counter.  A beautiful American flag flying in front of the house for the 4th.  Fall would include pumpkins and cinnamon-y potpourri. Wreaths are a given year-round.

Birthday Celebrations -- I want to celebrate every birthday in the house with whatever the birthday boy or girl wants to do.  This would not have to include a big party every year, but could instead be a fun family outing chosen by the birthday person or a meal specially prepared and chosen by the birthday boy/girl.  I think birthdays are a big deal and should be treated like a big deal.

Family Vacations -- Ideally these would happen each summer and could be as simple as camping for a weekend or as extravagent as traveling to another state or country.  Being active during these vacations would be ideal, as well as exploring the area we are visiting.  Traveling to visit faraway family and friends will also hopefully be a regular family event. 

Supporting my family through their extra-curricular activities -- this means attending plays, musicals, sporting events, games, tournaments, recitals or shows.  Any enriching experiences my family find themselves inspired to do in their free time, I plan on supporting it as best I can.

Smells -- This topic may sound a bit odd.. but I want to ensure my house always smells good.  I want to have good smelling candles throughout the house with scents that compliment the season.  The smell of dinner will often be the flavor of the day.  I am really in tune with the impact that memory for scents can have. I plan to use the same brand of laundry detergent and dryer sheets for as long as possible. 

Meals and Food -- I plan to have some kind of a meal prepared each evening for my family.  I want to be able to provide healthy and satisfying food for them.  Growing bodies need to be nourished with substantial food.  I also plan to make lunches for each family member, my husband included for them to take to school and work.  My hope is that I will inspire my children to eventually participate in the family food preparation. 

Extended Family and Friends -- I want to have a comfortable guest room (hopefully with an attached bathroom) always ready and available for any family or friends who are visiting from out of town.  Or if someone imbibes a bit too much at one of our parties.  Which leads me to:

Parties -- I want to regularly have family and friends come to visit and/or stay.  And I want to provide a household where they WANT to do that.

As you can see, many of these things are centered around seasons or holidays and all are meant to bring my family and our close friends together with the goal of creating enduring bonds.  One of my greatest hopes is that my family and our house overflows with love and I believe traditions are one way to cultivate that. 

Laura's Famous Guacamole Recipe

Ingredients

• 4 perfectly ripe avocados, halved and peeled (see footnotes)
• 1/2 small white or yellow onion, finely chopped
• 1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro
• 1 4-ounce can diced green chilies
• 2 cloves of garlic, minced
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons fresh squeezed lime juice
• a few dashes of hot sauce
• Tortilla chips

Directions

1. Combine ingredients in a medium sized bowl.
2. Taste and add more of whatever is needed.
3. Transfer to a serving dish and serve immediately with tortilla chips or cover and chill up to 24 hours. 
4. ENJOY!!

Footnotes

• Choosing the right avocados is 99% of making awesome guacamole.  The avocado is perfectly ripe when you can gently press in on the wide end of the fruit.  Too soft is no good.  Too hard is also no good... if there's no give at all, it's not ready! 

• For smoother guacamole, mash avocados and/or use a food processor to combine all ingredients. For chunkier guacamole, chop avocados into 1/2 inch pieces and combine all ingredients gently by hand.